Leacock don't know what he's done
His hair looks daft stuck in that bun
He can't say, Teale can't see, McEveley punches just like a gay
Leacock don't know what he's done
His hair looks daft stuck in that bun...

So this is how it feels to be Cloughie
Managing a bunch of scumbags
This is how it feels when they all run after a flag

Team bus leaving the City Ground
Savage tears, face pricked with hate,
Half-baked threats to a local lad
Who left him feeling quite irate,

So this is how it feels to be Cloughie
This is how it feels to be small
This is how it feels when your team wins nothing at all

Tyson's led the flag parade
Now Derby launch a false crusade
They can't watch, they can't see, they won't admit the hypocrisy

So this is how it feels to be Cloughie
This is how it feels to be sad
This is how it feels to be not as good as your Dad.