 English sport was in the grip of sensational revelations today as the governing bodies of the nation's key winter and summer sports got together to plot a renaissance on the football pitch and cricket ground.
Following the capitulation of the England cricket team in the West Indies World Cup, and the failure of Steve McClaren's team to win over the country's hearts, national sporting bigwigs have arranged to swap teams.
In future, McClaren will take over the England cricket team and use his England footballers at the crease, while Duncan Fletcher and Michael Vaughan and their squad will play the remainder of the Euro 2008 qualifiers. An insider at the meeting between the F.A. and the M.C.C. stated, 'It was felt that by switching disciplines, nothing could be particularly worse'.
With the decision made, the former England football team have already convened a short get-together at Trent Bridge to test out their cricketing skills. Observers of the session commented that McClaren and Co. have a distinct advantage from the start, as the England boss's training sessions to date have only ever consisted of shuttle runs between two cones, ideal preparation for running between the wickets.
Another perceived advantage is that Lampard and Gerrard will finally be able to play together, even able to hold hands in the slips if need be. In addition, at the recent Spurs v Watford match, goalscoring goalie Paul Robinson has already shown himself to be adept with a bouncer.
Speaking at a packed press conference after the event, McClaren put his spin to good use, telling journalists, 'We've got the makings of a world class cricket side. For a start, Peter Crouch can cover the distance between the stumps in a single step, which is going to make him virtually impossible to run out. And I can tell you something else, Kieron Dyer is pretty handy with his middle stump, ask any girl on Newcastle's Quayside'.
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